scientific inquiry

Tommy works hard eveyday learning about the world. He finds it rewarding and uses science to do it. Tommy likes to share his findings because then kids can read it and learn what Tommy learned but they don't have to do all the work to find it out. They can just read it then go play! There's a lot of science writing in the world you can read. It's a time saver!

The Dog Foot-Handed Family of Switzerland.

In my studies ideas and findings occasionally come to light which force the learned man of science and intuition to step back from commonly-held belief and thus reconsider and potentially wholly rebuild ones core assumptions. The dog foot-handed family of Switzerland proved the catalyst for just such a mental recalibration.

The dog foot-handed family of Switzerland first appeared on the scientific radar after Jeremy, the son, filed a class-action law suit against the local school district for it's policy of mandatory post-physical education showering. As the case was widely reported in both the print and televised media, many found it curious that the family's shared trait of having tiny doggy paws where their fingers should be was uniformly unremarked upon by the press. Soon, scientists from around the globe independently made the trek to the family's Swiss town of residence in order to more closely study this obscure malformation in the human genome.

Researchers found the family able to maintain a comfortable middle-class lifestlye regardless of the sizable physical and social disadvantages found in having teeny dog paws where most people have fingers. Sociologists found the family's father, Ram, to be a mostly happy and positive individual who was given to brief though intense feelings of scrutiny and inadequacy in his employ at a local branch of the state-owned bank. In the disposition of his duties, Ram commonly found himself at a disadvantage as he was hesitant to shake hands with clients due to both the formation of his hands and the difficulty found in cleaning them thoroughly after his stools.

Of even greater import were the findings brought forth by physiological researchers. Though the family enjoyed fully functioning opposable thumbs, the lack of fully formed fingers in lieu of dog feet disallowed them from firmly gripping objects and tools. At best, family members could enact only the most timorous of holds on utensils, and only those weighing relatively little. No member of the family could hold a standard half-gallon milk jug; the handle proved too think to be grasped while the dog hands were too weak to hold the container by the sides. Due to daily time constraints and the difficulty experienced by the family in attempting even the most rudimentary food preparation, the dog foot-handed family of Switzerland were often forced to subsist for days on little more than common lawn grass. The family was last seen sight-seeing during a visit to New York City in 1989. They were huddled together in a dumpster.

In sum, the dog foot-handed family of Switzerland forced scientists to reconsider the import previously placed upon the appearance of the opposable thumb in human evolution. It is now more commonly accepted that though the opposable thumb is vital to our use of tools, it is still worth very little when not paired with fully articulate fingers and instead with something like a dogs foot or a banana or a giant tooth.


As an inventor I've long held an admiration for cavepeople as they, more then any other peoples, are responsible for all the wondeferful inventions we enjoy today. They kind of had it easy though since because there was nothing when they were around but caves and rocks, anything they did was kind of an invention. Anywho, here is a picture gallery saluting these great men and women and half monkeys. Click a cavehead!