Russel The Cat is a cat Brad Oexeman lives with. They get along ok mostly because they both have their own things going on and respect each other's space. Russel has an active private life and sometimes he likes to share it with people, especially kids!
Brad sits in his room a lot, often drawing pictures and sometimes snacking - maybe on fruit. Occasionally a little paw wedges its way under his door. Under that paw will be a little piece of scratch paper with a written story or investigative report on it. Russel's printing is very legible, but you can tell it takes him a long time to do it because he presses the pencil so hard.
Brad and Russel never talk about Russel's investigations and stories because Brad gets the impression Russel doesn't want to have them brought up. Once, in front of company, Brad alluded to Russel's writing and then didn't see Russel for four whole days. Brad got worried, but it turns out Russel was in the basement.
Russel likes to write in third person. Brad would like to know why, but does not. It might be because Russel never went to school. Oddly, Brad went to school but is actively writing about himself in the third person. Russel might just like to keep it formal.
Enough weird back-story! KitKit and Tommy are proud to present the first episode of what is sure to be a thrilling and followable adventure filled with all sorts of cat stuff. Old ladies will probably like it, so if you know any teach them computers so they can enjoy this too!
It was a cold Wisconsin morning. Snow was rushing wildly past the windows. The sun was out for the first time in the better part of a week. A person was outside walking her dog. The sun made things seem cheery and put nice bright warm squares all over the carpet. You could also see all the dust floating around. It was kind of gross but was the kind of thing you either have to do something about or just put out of your mind.
Russel the cat is just a cat so he had to put it out of his mind. He is a very tidy cat, and he spends a lot of time putting all his things in their proper corners or spots under the couch. If he could dust the house he would gladly - and often - but he only has little tiny paws and when he tries to pick up the duster it just falls to the floor and sometimes makes a big racket on the linoleum (which is scary).
Russel had arisen well before dawn this morning. He felt well rested and so was eager to start the day. He spent about four hours standing next to the living room heat register, and then made a brief visit to the heat register in the kitchen. Russel abhors the cold and sometimes, after too much milk and self examination, questions why he was born at such a northerly latitude.
Russel was soon glad he had migrated to the kitchen because Brad came out of his room and fed him. Russel lives with Brad and Neil. They may want to consider dusting more as well as instituting a third daily feeding.
Russel was very hungry but made sure to eat slowly because it's better for you. Russel's sister, Cate, also came into the kitchen so Russel sat back and let her eat. Russel believes in maintaining very strict social discipline. Russel has told Cate to eat more slowly, but she does not listen. You can't tell her anything and the less said about her the better.
As breakfast continued Russel ran through his day. He was concerned that he may be too wakeful to enjoy his traditional late morning nap. This would open up a number of extra hours which Russel would have to fill constructively. He knew he could sit in some of the sun spots through the afternoon, but that would still leave the early evening unscheduled. Nipping at the edges of Russel's reverie was the vague feeling that there was something of the utmost importance which he was forgetting. Russel ran though all the possible alternatives which his daily routine could possibly afford yet was unable to ensnare the impetus for this hazy feeling of duty. Russel began to feel restless and so left the kitchen without finishing his coffee.
On the short walk back to the living room Russel heard a strange sound coming from the bathroom. He walked in to investigate. The sound was coming from the shower.
Russel hopped onto the edge of the bathtub and saw water dripping from the faucet down into a little black hole where it disappeared. Suddenly Russel's head hurt, almost like someone had magically put a walnut or almond in his brain. He sat down to watch the water. He was very still and watched the water drip drip dripping then dis dis disappearing for a very long time. His head did not hurt badly, but he still felt weird in his brain.
The water appeared from somewhere Russel could not see. It would slowly gather on the bottom lip on the faucet until it became too full to support itself then it would drop and fall into the little black hole and be gone forever.
This was the same water he would drink with his mouth and then later would come out of him onto sand!
After four hours Russel decided to move on with his day. He sat in the sun and then stretched a bit and was petted and ate and took five naps. He did not think about the water at all.
Soon the whole house was dark and quiet. It was the same outside the window. Cate and Brad and Neil all had their eyes closed. Russel felt anxious and he still had that almondy feeling in his brain. He stared out the window for a bit then became very very sleepy.
As sleep came over Russel he felt like he was disappearing from the world. He had a very vivid dream. It was a strange dream too because he saw and sensed things that he recognized even though he had never seen them while alive in Wisconsin. Russel saw three big pyramids and what looked like a big sitting lion with a hat made out of pants on its head. Russel felt a hundred hands petting his back and tummy. In his dream, Russel ate scarabs and licked honey. The whole world looked like Russel's toilet box but did not smell funny.
In his dream, Russel laid down on a big pile of gold and palm fronds. He watched a scarab walk up the pile towards him. The scarab was not interested in being efficient and so did not walk a straight path; it would walk the length of one palm frond, then circle the edge of a gold piece, then walk back on the lip of another frond. The scarab was slowly making its way to Russel. Its hard back was black but in the light Russel could see other color, like when there's an oil puddle in the sun. Russell was not scared, even when the scarab walked up his paw. Russel watched the scarab as it moved up his arm and onto Russel's neck. Russel was not even scared when the scarab walked out of Russel's sight line. He could feel the scarab walking up the side of his face. Suddenly, the scarab was in Russel ear! Still Russel was not scared! He was confused though, because he thought he should be scared. Suddenly Russel's headache came back! The scarab was deep in his ear and was now on top of Russel's brain. It was moving around - Russel could feel it. Then, it felt like it was burrowing down into his brain. The headache became really really bad all of a sudden.
Russel woke up startled. He jumped to his feet. He still had the headache and it was terrible and getting worse. Russel's brain felt like it was being pumped full of air. It felt like it would pop! Russel stood very still as the headache got worse and worse and worse until he was just at his breaking point and suddenly BAM! It stopped and Russel - for a split second - felt fine. Then Russel's brain felt like a whole cup of very very cold water had been poured over it. As the sensation moved toward the bottom of his brain, Russel suddenly had a realization that blew his kitty mind so bad he fell to the floor, his legs all weird under him.
The realization that floored Russel was the realization that he was having a realization!